Boredom

I think my kids, and their friend who came as a guest today, were more or less bored out of their minds for most of this Sunday's service. Furthermore, when I inquired about what they found best and worst about church today, the positive things, truly good though they may be, were nothing related specifically to church. They could have experienced those same things had we stayed home or gone to a park.

Granted, boredom has value. It's not the end of the world. And I can grant several other things that the kids couldn't express which give a positive perspective on the value of their participation in church this morning and week after week.

But that would be a poor excuse for not trying to figure out what I should do about how understandably bored my kids (who I make coming the norm for) and many adults (who make their own choice not to come) are by Sunday morning services.

Let's be honest about what goes on in church, what it takes to engage, and who that does or doesn't serve.

I don't want to take anything meaningful away from anyone. And I'm not talking about dumbing down. But, how can we shape a church service and faith community that is more accessible and engaging to a wider range of people (including ourselves?)

This is not just a curious or academic question for me, or one of assenting to church beliefs about evangelism or the like. More personally, I long to have regular ways to share explicit spiritual expression and faith community with friends for whom church is not regular part of their life and for whom services as we conduct them would be unlikely to fit the bill. But significantly more important to me than that is my concern for my kids. As good as church as they experience it may be for them, and in spite of what I or others have done with kids in mind at my particular church, I am not satisfied with what I'm giving them, nor do I think I should be. And they're getting older every day, every Sunday, every season. I cannot let this issue die. Actually, I don't think it would even if I wanted it to. So I must find ways to act.

Proximity - Come on Down

Last Sunday (again) my not so young youngest asked to be picked up during church. Then he fidgeted between positions involving limbs, me and pews.

How much does being at a distance from the altar effects one's ability to engage? What about all the shoulders & heads blocking a child's view?

I remember taking one of my kids to the zoo when very little. While I I tried to point out animals she was fixated on things much closer like plants or rocks.

Where would you like to sit for a concert or baseball game, a meeting at work, dinner out, a bus ride?

St Gregory's of Nyssa notes they have a "children's space, next to the presider's chair, so they can have a better view of the action of the liturgy."

How does proximity effect you in church? Children you've observed? What approaches has your church taken?

What if we all could moved in closer?

Ribbon Sticks

This blog gets lots of hits from people doing internet searches about ribbon sticks.

What are you all doing (or trying to do) with ribbon sticks?

Ribbon sticks are a topic on this site because at the church where I work with kids, we've been making a set of ribbon sticks for each color of the liturgical year. At the beginning of each liturgical season, and sometimes on other occasions, kids are invited to carry the ribbon sticks during the procession at the beginning of the service. If there are enough ribbon sticks to go around the choir and clergy carry them too. And yes, even though I'm not a child, clergy or choir member, I usually join the procession with a ribbon stick too. Somebody has to model for the kids and give them directions, right? (Working with kids is such a handy "excuse" for doing fun stuff.)

We make the sticks like this:

1. Cut wooden dowels into desired lengths.
   
2. Sand dowels as needed.
3. Cut strips of ribbon. Various widths and styles are good.
4. Tape a set of ribbons to the end of each stick
   
5. Secure the ribbons with a staple gun.
   

Things to consider:

• Height of the people who will carry the ribbon sticks: Sticks and ribbons for small children have needed to be shorter than I imagined. Ribbons can easily end up on the floor & under foot.
  

• Where do the sticks go after their main use? Deposit them in decorative containers of sand? Keep them for waving in other parts of the service? Gather them up before they become weapons?

• Making the ribbon sticks can be a fun intergenerational project.

Omniscience

I've come to find out that at least one of my children does not believe that God knows everything.

I'm not sure I've ever given any explicit input on the topic, which kind of makes it all the more interesting. I'm not sure what to make of it.

You never know what kids are absorbing or not. Apparently this kid has not absorbed the prayer that's a regular part of our Sunday services and that happens to be one of my favorites:

Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid...

(btw: I imagine that prayer could be heard as threatening and intimidating, but I don't hear it that way. I find it a great comfort.)

This all came up when we were talking about a story in a book in which people hid something from God. I wondered out loud about why the people did this. I said, in a tone that left an opening for agreement or disagreement, that I thought God knew everything. My child said that no, he didn't. You can hide things from God by putting them someplace he doesn't know about. Like our garage.

I wonder how you know what places God knows about or not. I might have to ask about that tomorrow.

And yes, my child did identify God as he. In spite of my use of gender neutral terms for God, it seems both of my children have readily absorbed this important aspect of our religious and cultural patriarchy. But then if God doesn't know about things in our garage, maybe there are a lot of things he doesn't know about. Maybe he doesn't know what it means to be female. We'll have to see what we can do about that.

Play on Speaking of Faith

Given my previous post, when I found the opportunity this afternoon to catch up on one of the many Speaking of Faith podcasts that I haven't gotten to, I thought this one would be a good choice.

Play, Spirit + Character

I recommend it.

You can listen to the program, read the transcript or explore a number of related items through the link above.

Playing

We're back into the program year so this is a good time to get back to regular posting here.

Ironic that its the program year that provides the impetus, because the first thing I have to say is about play.

The importance of play is old news of course, but I'm in the process of learning its importance personally. It's been a reoccurring theme, highlighted this summer by my neighbor's wise insistence as I prepared for vacation that I use the time to PLAY with my kids. It all fits together wonderfully with the numerous bits of insight that keep reinforcing my conviction that the gospel about becoming like little children in order to enter the realm of God's reign is deeply significant.

Sunday I saw the relevance of play again. The kids were quiet and reserved. Clearly some of what I'd planned would not work because the kids weren't comfortable enough to participate in the ways I had imagined. So I went with plan B and read a Bible story in the form of a pop up book. They slid right up close to the book and were eager to open flaps and pull tabs. Then we played with play dough. We used it as a bridge to the story and other topics of the day. But the more important aspect was that it opened up our interactions and relationships. We were talking, playing and imagining together.

So...(I say to myself as much as you)...yes, you have to be the adult, do the planning, keep the big picture and all...but make sure you let go and play...let the children teach you...don't let yourself or the children miss that opportunity.

PLAY!

Here Comes Fun

Under Construction: A Habitat for Humanity Vacation Bible School.
July 14-18
9-Noon
with St Mark's
for age 4 - completed 4th Grade

Contact me for more information

The adult planners are probably getting as excited about what we're doing as the kids will be doing it.

Among the fun & cool things we hope to pull off: building this playhouse.

Don't you wish you were a kid?